Finding the passion in what I do

Finally had the resolve to start writing again after a super long break of not writing.

Lately I’ve been thinking a little about the future as I’m graduating next year with a degree in Biomedicine, figuring out the next step and how God’s plans fit in the picture.

You know it’s always said – follow your passion, etc.  What on earth does that really mean?

Doing dentistry is a fine idea, I mean, good hours, get to drill into peoples’ mouth (yes I’m a little crazy), good money, relatively stable.  Medicine is somewhat good, just that I don’t like the hours and it’s just too much work.

But if I’m passionate about something – it wouldn’t feel like work, right?  So let’s say I’m super passionate about medicine, does it mean that studying won’t feel like a chore ,  knowing I’ll get there?  Does being passionate mean that I’ll try every single way to get there?  How does God fit into this picture? Do I make things happen for myself or what?

It’s scare how some people are so driven and so focussed on what they want to do, do what is required, and get there. And they’re happy. Unfortunately, I’m not that kind of person. I lack the fire and desire.

Perhaps I’m lazy, perhaps I want everything to fall nicely in place and I just step into whatever I’m given.  I don’t think I’m stupid, if I work at something I can do it, it’s just that do I really want it and what’s my motivation?

Here am I writing notes about renal physiology and am not enjoying it – all I want to do is pick up my guitar and scare the neighbours.  Does it mean that I’m not passionate in what I’m studying now or I’m just lazy?

Argh,, so many things to think about.  Yesterday had THREE people telling me to study for GAMSAT now. I know all these things, but I don’t know why I’m just too lazy to care.   It feels like I have so much to think about and getting ready for GAMSAT now, when finals are 5 weeks away and OCF is at its transition stage?  Maybe they’re just excuses to compensate for my laziness, maybe I don’t feel that they’re important enough.  Maybe I’m afraid of the long road ahead and want to bail.  But it’s all just foolishness – I KNOW that it’s important to keep my options open but somehow I have the “I don’t care” feeling, which is terrible I know, but I just can’t help it.

Some of  you already know, I love guitars, I eat, live, sleep, breathe guitars. I love music, playing music, but I’m not that good at it to pursue it at a music school.  So where does that leave me? Music as just a hobby? Most people settle for that.  Why can’t a hobby be a career since you’re passionate about it?  But then, I’m not a music prodigy,  I’m NOT that into writing songs.  But if I’m sooo passionate about music, why am I not doing anything about it either?

Am I scared to go into the unknown? Am I just too lazy to make things happen for myself? Am I too lazy to take the harder way?

Sorry if this post seems a little scattered, I’m just spewing out whatever is in my head.  Decisions, deadlines, results, grades, I don’t know how long I can stand this.  I need to make a decision, but what is the right decision? I want a God decision, not the good decision.

Maybe I’m not spending enough time with God to see things his way.  So confused…I don’t think I gotten anywhere even after writing all this down.

God, I want to follow in whatever path you’ve set out for me.  They say that if you do the best in wherever God has placed you in – you’ll get there. I’m trying to do that but I’m not enjoying the ride, I’m not loving what I’m doing.  How do you fit in my plans, God?  What do I do? I trust that you will lead me there, someday, I need to stop the worrying and start the doing, if only I knew where to start. God, please shut doors that you don’t want me to go through and open doors that will lead me to the place where you want to be.  I know I have a lot of things to think about and the process is not supposed to be easy. I wish everything but it’s not – so hold my hand till I get there.  In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

So true

Another excuse not to blog I guess..pretty busy as the semester is ending. Meanwhile, read this interesting article:

http://michaelkelleyministries.com/2011/05/why-wont-god-just-tell-me-what-to-do/

Action packed week

Arsenal beating Man U

Royal wedding that made almost every girl feel like a princess – I must be strange because I got bored halfway. You people who watched till the end, salute!

Osama’s death.

The last event is THE news of the year, maybe coming to a tie with the royal wedding. But it is also an issue with much debate – Christianity wise. Is it bad to rejoice in his death? Did he deserve a fair trial? Etc. etc. I’m just an innocent bystander and so I will not form any opinion on this matter. However, John Piper puts it very well here:

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/is-god-glad-osama-bin-ladens-dead?sms_ss=facebook&at_xt=4dc0b592f45ad1fa%2C0

Read it, and be enlightened.

The closest I’ve come to anything Greek..

At least it has been on Greek soil haha.

Something to say..

I’m home alone..whee!!

I realize I dress super unglamly for class compared to some of my coursemates…haha. Me in slippers and shorts, them in their super nice dress, made up hair, killer shoes.  Bringing some Ipoh love to Melbourne!

Had a Golden Gaytime to make myself feel better after screwing up my test =(

Missing Night Market tonight cz I’m too lazy to go out, catch  a tram, rock up to North Court and meet people. Gosh, such a hermit…

Killing myself with How I Met Your Mother. A useless addiction that must NOT be followed. NEVER! Online high fives everyone!

I want a Les Paul Junior – nothing better than one pickup and rocking out.

Planning a business venture…let’s see whether it’ll materialize. Need some arty farty friends to help out. We shall see.

Meeting up with one of the speakers for LTC for lunch – she spoke last week and I was really touched by her passion for God – it’s really amazing! Can’t wait to hear what’s on her heart and talk about stuff.

Housemate going off to Mexico soon – Jo told her not to bring a Carlos back. Haha.

So here’s my week. Let’s here yours.  Ready, set, go blog!

 

Watch this

Aint this super cute:

Makes you want one eh?

Haha.

 

Checking in

Ah, family and food.  We have been eating food from around the world! Okay, not the whole world la, but whatever we can do within the three days.

Thurs:

Lunch: Bimbo Deluxe (Italian/Australian)
AUD4 pizza, duh! I had the salmone and the chocolate pizza.  Crust was thin and good, the chocolate one was nice and chocolate-y..ah..such a sucker for chocolate.

Dinner: Andrew’s Burgers (Australian/American)
Supposedly the best burgers in Melbourne.  Waited 20 mins for our burgers, due to the carnival they were having at Albert Park (oh, very good music btw). Packed with fresh ingredients – so juicy and good! But since this is my THIRD time having the burger, the novelty has kinda worn off..but still good =)

Dessert: Jock’s Ice Cream
The shop is just down the road from Andrew’s Burgers ( a good walk to walk of the burgers). Me and Julia had the Hokey Pokey, which is vanilla and honeycomb – very Golden Gaytime-ish. To sidetrack a little, Golden Gaytime, I know, what a name right, is considered an Australian icon, let me show you:

The Hokey Pokey was not bad – very smooth and flavoursome, but I found myself longing for the chocolate bits like in the Golden Gaytime, told ya I was a sucker for chocolate. But nonetheless, it was GOOD.

Friday

Breakfast:  Parisian Pattiserie (French)

The almond croissants rocked my world as usual, but it actually is quite sweet though. Hot Chocolate – good.  However, the whole thing made me very sleepy during my 9am lecture..Oh well, it was all worth it.

Lunch: Mamasita (Mexican)

Tapas style food.  The cold dish – you can taste the freshness in the fish.  The pork was oh-so-perfect.  Explosion of flavours I tell ya. The guacamole was killer, the tacos were great. They forgot one of our orders though, which was good  in a way cz we were pretty full up anyway, but we could have made room for it I guess. We had a mango granita (ok that’s not the proper name) and some other dessert with cheese, guava jam, pecan and toffee. I was so-so on that because they didn’t have my favourite chocolate in their desserts. The meal was a little pricier that your average fare, if you want to go by the amount of food and price, but it is a meal you gotta have once in a while. They change their menu every few months to keep you coming to try new stuff.

Dinner: Co Do (Vietnamese)

When we first stepped in, fuiyoh, full of angmohs..beginning to doubt my googling skills until the food arrived. The spring rolls were good, and the pho was really good, too, nice thin rice noodles and the beef was tender. Not too much MSG either.  We had the sugar cane prawns which were a tad strange, but according to Jo they were like fishballs.  Should have gone with sizzling beef instead, cz it smelt really good from the other table, but it was a little bit of beef overkill.

Looking forward to tomorrow: Dim Sum and modern Australian food. Can’t wait!

 

Love: Appendix

Just a thought:

I used to think LOVE was overrated, because it has turned into something that retail companies try to hype up so that you’ll spend a few dollars buying something for ‘your loved one’ because that’s the only way to show it.  Like Christmas where it’s all about the presents and not about the birth of a man who was also fully God.  Love became no longer just you and me forever.  But it be came you and me + diamond ring, or you and me + the house with the white picket fence.  I wish we could go back to the day where it was so simple. Messy gooey love.

I guess seeing the proposal yesterday really woke me up a little. There is still hope. Love still exists!

Then I think about His love for us, which is sooo much more than me or you and ever ever imagine.  So immense, so warm and so overwhelming.  Thank you, God.  I am LOVED.

 

 

Witnessed something beautiful

Today at church I, along with the other members of the church witnessed a live marriage proposal. Even our pastor and his wife couldn’t help but shed a few tears.   While everyone’s eyes was fixed on the video presentation (proposal), I kept looking at the lady being proposed to because the shock and joy written on her face…well let’s just be cheesy and say it was priceless.

Sigh, it was such a good start to the day.  Nothing beats the joy of being loved and loving back. The hidden romantic side of me wishes for the same…

So this is to all the couples out there, preserve what you have, it’s a beautiful thing, don’t let petty things, unforgiveness strip away the beauty until you’re left with this unrepairable mess.  That said, love is so much more than physical attraction, much more than financial stability, so much more than convenience, admiration as these things are temporal, to quote a wise old sage known as Ong Boon Hwee (LOL), “40 years down the road, we’ll all look the same”.  It’s about..ah..no one says it more eloquently than the Bible:

1 Corinthians 13 (New American Standard)

4Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there isknowledge, it will be done away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part; 10but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. 12For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

It’s time to open your eyes because people may say a lot of things, but the ultimate truth is that…You ARE LOVED. Now it’s time to spread it around.

On that note..

Just found this video, Grace Kelly done a capella! They’re from Yale btw..YALE!